Breaking: Ange Postecoglou changes name to ‘Mateimus’ after Spurs beat United

Tottenham Hotspur manager Ange Postecoglou has legally changed his name to Ange Mateimus in the wake of his side’s error-ridden 4-3 Carabao Cup victory over Manchester United.

Mateimus made the decision to change his name by deed poll after telling close friends and family that he now identifies as a gladiator.

The victorious Australian tactician strode onto the pitch after watching his side almost blow a 3-0 lead and the shocked crowd inside Tottenham’s amphitheatre fell silent.

‘Are you not entertained, mate?’, roared Mateimus at Spurs’ shellshocked supporters.

‘My name is Ange Mateimus, commander of a football club from North London, manager of a sh*te goalkeeper, manager of a sh*te defence. And I will play kamikaze football, at this club and the next, mate’, added the 59-year-old.

Sky Sports pundit Jamie Carragher gave a thumbs down from the gantry in a bid to have the Spurs fans boo their manager over his perceived lack of tactics.

In response, the crowd chanted ‘Mateimus the Maverick’, angering Carragher.

Conducting his post-match press conference in full Roman gladiator attire, the former Celtic boss fielded questions about the topsy turvy game and some unique new training methods he is introducing.

‘It’s just who we are, mate’, said Mateimus, when asked why Spurs attained peak Spursy levels on Thursday night.

‘What you call infuriatingly inconsistent, I call entertaining as f***, mate’, he added, while swinging his sword above his head.

When asked about rumours he would be introducing chariots and chained tigers to first team training, the former Brisbane Roar coach said:

‘It’s always nice to freshen things up a bit and a few of the defenders will benefit from being pressed by a pack of snarling Indian tigers’.

However, the Spurs boss refused to be drawn on speculation that he attempted to coax former goalkeeper Pat Jennings out of retirement last night following Fraser Foster’s horror show.

*Paddy Power News’s footy news is pure fantasy – don’t believe it for a second

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