PaddyPower News

Go to PP.

Reports: Ryan Mason waiting on Daniel Levy text after Spurs loss

Stephen Large

Football News, Fun

9mo ago

Two-time interim Spurs boss Ryan Mason is eagerly anticipating a text message from club owner Daniel Levy following the North London side’s sixth Premier League defeat of the season.

Bournemouth beat Tottenham 1-0 to climb above their opponents in the table while a number of Spurs fans insulted manager Ange Postecoglou after the game.

Mason expects to hear from Levy before the end of the day and admits he’s already picking his side for Spurs’ London derby defeat against Chelsea on Sunday.

‘Should be any minute now’, Mason told Paddy Power News, while staring at an old WhatsApp conversation between himself and Levy.

‘It’s what Daniel does. He hires a top-class coach like Poch, Jose or Conte. Sells their best players. Sacks them after about 18 months, then brings me in for a few games. Rinse and repeat.

‘So, I’ve told the missus to cancel all our Christmas plans because Daniel needs me.

‘Again’.

Despite Mason’s optimism, current Spurs boss Postecoglou is confident he can turn the club’s fortunes around.

‘I’ve won trophies in Scotland, mate’, the defiant Australian told us.

‘People will question my tactics but playing two at the back always worked against the likes of Ross County and Sanfrecce Hiroshima.

‘And if it doesn’t work out at Tottenham, I can always f*** off back to Celtic to win trebles with a hefty severance package in the bank, mate’.

Meanwhile, Levy spent the morning scrolling through his Rolodex of football managers as he contemplated sacking Postecoglou.

‘Glenn Hoddle? No. Hates me because I fired him. Jacques Santini? No. Hates me because I ruined his career. Martin Jol? No, looks too much like Superintendent Chalmers from The Simpsons’, Levy told us while flicking through the rotating card device.

‘Juande Ramos? No. Spent £15m on Roman Pavlyuchenko. Harry Redknapp? No. Will want to sign Niko Kranjcar who’s 40. Andre Villas-Boas? No. Spent the Bale money on a load of sh*te.

‘Poch? No. Jose? No. Conte? No. Nuno Espirito Santo? F**k no. Tim Sherwood? Double f**k no. Ah ha! Ryan Mason. He’s our man’.

*Paddy Power News’s footy news is pure fantasy – don’t believe it for a second